Nearly 10 years ago

Late January 1998:

"I thought we agreed not to do that?!?!?"

"Well you're a bit too late with that one one now. We're going to have to have do it now you asshole."

Then it dawned on me. The Christmas Party. Just that one time after many drinks. Wow, I have super swimmers, just once. That is how I came to learn I was going to be a father again.

Today I picked up the Bman for the weekend. As usual, his sisters had better places to be. That's ok with me, I like hanging out with him one on one. It's much less stressful than the girls.

I was thinking in the car about a conversation I had at work earlier in the day. I had mentioned my desire to move west, get out of New England and see some more of the world. But I know I could never leave the kids behind and I said as much to wrap up the topic...and my feelings of wanderlust.

While we were riding back to my house, he reminded me that his mom is getting married again tomorrow. That brings about some mixed feelings for me. Failure - how could I NOT see this woman is a bum? Pity - for the dumb shit that's marrying her. He's a nice guy, it'll hurt for him when she starts whoring again. Regret - this is the role model my daughters have for how a grown woman is supposed to behave. It was then during a lull in the conversation that the Bman really made his presence felt.

"Dad?"
"Yeah pal?"
"Why did you marry mom?"
"Honestly, I'm not really sure buddy. It's hard to say looking back now."
"Well I just mean why? I mean like I'm glad you did though because you're the best father ever."

Damn I love that kid. He blindsided me out of nowhere with the best thing a son could ever say to his father. Just retyping it here is making me swallow hard. He doesn't know it now, nor will he ever, that it really shook me deep down and made me not ever want to do or say anything that would change his mind.

So tomorrow after I'm done doing chores he hates, we're going to do something he loves. I just scored us two good tickets to the local baseball team who are having a fireworks show after the game. Why do that now? Just because I want to spoil him and so he knows that I appreciate the fact that he's the one person walking this earth who has been happy to see me or talk to me every time he's had the chance.