2008 - The year that wasn't

So to say this year has been interesting might be the understatement of my life to say the least.

When 2008 started, I was in some deep trouble. I was days away from being laid off. I didn't have anohter job in sight and I had already spent 6 months of 2007 out of work or working for a pittance of a salary.

That's where the roller coaster began and where it's ending up here on December 31, no one on EARTH would have been able to predict.

Soon into year I had found a better job and started passing my certification tests which helped me feel better about all the money that I had laid out to school for my career makeover.

By the time my birthday rolled around I was fast into interviewing for work since gas was now running me $4 a gallon and even in my tiny car I was getting killed on it. Then Brianna hit her "Dad I don't like you" phase. I figure by 2011 she should be over that one. Then on my birthday weekend I went out and lived it up with some friends. Now when I left that afternoon, I thought it would be a pretty typical night of getting drunk and silly and crashing somewhere. Boy was I wrong. The details of it are a bit more personal than I want to put out here, but it sure did change things on a few fronts for me.

When summer rolled around I had changed jobs to something nice and close to home. The budget stayed stretched tight, but there were highlights to the summer like taking Bman to a few ballgames, camping up in the mountains, hanging out with Pam and her fam over July 4th and spending more than a couple of nights out on the balcony with a beer and a cigar and enjoying the quiet.

Of course the end of the year has been nothing but upheaval. In September I found out I'd be getting laid off again, then 2 days later I was offered another position in the company, then was promoted 6 weeks later to a job I got passed over for earlier. That was the smallest of my changes as I learned.

Having Brittany move in with me has been a whirlwind change of monumental proportions. Seriously, WTF do I know about having a teenage girl in the house 24/7? Apparently nothing, but somehow we've got a pretty decent system worked out. Now if I can just get the little shit to do her school work.

So while that relationship strengthed, others have weakened. One of which will never get back to where it was. The other is starting to make a comeback only very recently and I think will be rocky for a bit longer. Other relationships have changed contexts and gotten stronger which is something I am happy for.

Now the question is...what happens for 2009? Honestly I have no earthly idea. I have a feeling that there will continue to be a lot of change in my life. Things are not where I want them to be right now, even though they are a hell of a lot better than they were 365 day ago.

I am going to sit back and see what happens next. Only 52 weeks to go.

A Holiday Summary thus far

Lacking in verbosity (good word eh?), I am going to use Gypsy's favorite: the point form.

• December 23rd: Christmas shopping begun after work. Kids and parents finished. Only grandmother remaining to buy for.
• December 24th: SLOW work day, Christmas shopping completed for all. Holiday party at Rose and Mike's house. First time in a year I've been in a house surrounded by Puerto Ricans. Fuck I miss it sometimes. Realized I have officially become part of the family when, during photo time, the 75 year old family patriarch pinches my ass so I make a funny face during the picture. Stuff myself silly on rice & beans, assorted meats and Sam Adams.
• December 25th: wrap presents. Yeah, I know...lay off eh? I got it done in time. Resurrect my 14 year old daughter out of the subterrainean tomb known as "her bedroom" so she could come to Christmas at Dad's. Surprise Dad with both the long lost granddaughter but also my sister arriving with me. Stuff myself silly with ham and potatoes.
• December 26th: another SLOW work day. Spend a long lunch telling stories over pizzas at Unos with the other guys in my group. The one girl in the group was not invited...on purpose.
• December 27th: did nothing. Oh wait, cleaned the bathroom. Otherwise watched my new season of NYPD Blue on DVD and ordered The Wire complete series set on sale for $89, marked down from $250. Can you say "HOLY DEAL BATMAN?"
• December 28th: yelled at the TV during football. Pats out of the playoffs which sucks ass. Dolphins made it in which sucks even worse.

There you have it...a quick summary. I wonder what New Years Eve will bring?

All Summer Long

Ok, I was bored. And before you ask, I swear I followed the rule and used shuffle. Some of the songs were just really well timed.

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Lateralus (Tool)

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Big Empty (STP)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Everlong (Foo Fighters)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Long Road to Ruin (Foo Fighters)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Maggie May (Rod Stewart)

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Touche (Godsmack)

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
So Much To Say (Dave Matthews Band)

8.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Still DRE (Dr. Dre)

9. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Numb (Linkin Park)

10 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Without You (Hinder)

11.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE/LOVE?
Rise Above This (Seether)

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Bad Girlfriend (Theory of a Deadman)

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?)
The State of Massachusetts (Dropkick Murphys)

14 WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE/LOVE?
Gimmie Shelter (Rolling Stones)

15 WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Better Days (Pete Murray)

16. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
London Still (The Waifs)

17 What will they play at your funeral?
Nativity In Black (Primus w/Ozzy Osbourne)

18. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Aenema (Tool)

19 WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Corduroy (Pearl Jam)

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Prison Sex (Tool)

21. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Shake That (Eminem)

22. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
I Get It (Chevelle)

23. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET
Vicarious (Tool)

24. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Let It Die (Foo Fighters)

25. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Broken (Seether)

26 WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
The Past (Sevendust)

27.DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Brown Eyed Girl (Van Morrison)

28 IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Wherever I Stand (Taproot)

29 WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Never Too Late (Three Days Grace)

30 WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
All Summer Long (Kid Rock)

Idle Holiday Thoughts

With all the ice damage we had here lately, it's been getting me thinking about stuff of late.

1998. Who knew that year would have had such a profound impact. First off, that's the last time we had this kind of ice. I remember it the most because in June, we had to go to Northern Vermont to bury my great grandmother and I saw the lasting damage up there. From Newport to Richford I didn't see a tree that had it's top. They were all snapped off. Every single one of them just like I am seeing here now.

That was also the year Brandon was born. The son I never thought I would have. Plus let's face it, the most awesome kid ever. Plus that was the year I transferred at work to Massachusetts. Where I met Jose, hung out with Pam, made some decent money and learned that I had an aptitude for computers. Strange how life happens sometimes.

What's happened in the decade since then? Hmmm...a messy divorce, a close call car accident, total career 180, a couple of bouts with being unemployed, all kinds of great travel, friends gained, friends lost, friends hung on to with a fierceness I never knew I had, friends kicked to the curb with a hatred that lasts to this day. But one thing has hit me more than anything else. Losing my grandfather.

He is who I'm named after. I was the first grandson for him after 3 granddaughters. I don't know if that made a difference, but he and I were close from the word go. As a boy he was always there to watch a Sox game with me, play catch out in the yard or go hit a few golf balls with, especially during those periods where my father would disappear for 4 or 5 months at a time while my parents tried in vain to salvage their off and on marriage.

As I got older, I reconnected with my dad, but the impressions my grandfather made have stayed with me. My grandfather was without a doubt the most patient man I ever met. He was always slow to anger, thoughtful with his words and never talked down to people. I have really tried like hell to keep those things of him with me. I know, especially on here and in front of my friends I am the quick tempered sarcastic motherfucker but it's just the flip side. I work in a job where I answer questions and fix problems all day for people. Some of them are valid, some of them are just lazy or ignorant. But I manage to keep my cool with them even if it is that 4th time in a month I am answering the same question.

When I left Candi, they took me in for as long as I wanted to stay. Gramp never tried to tell me what to do. He listened when I needed to vent and that was it. Which is all I needed, even if I didn't realize it at the time. Those times were ones when I was glad to blow off work on an afternoon to play 9 holes with him, just the two of us, even sneaking him off for a beer at the 19th hole before heading home.

He died a little over 4 years ago. It meant another trip up to the same northern Vermont town I had been to 6 years earlier. I watched the full Army Honor Guard. I watched my tough as nails grandmother cry...the first time I ever saw that. I miss him immensely and lately I have been thinking a lot about him.

If he's looking down on me (and I hope he's not, I hope he has better things to do up there) I bet he'd have mixed feelings. He would be very proud of me on some fronts, he would be equally as disappointed on others and thoroughly confused on one or two particular fronts.

Even knowing that, there isn't much I wouldn't give for some more time with him.

A few items of business

First of all, I got power back. I have never been without power for 6 days straight in my life. It was quite an experience, one I hope to never repeat.

Next, the ice might be thawing a bit with my daughter. Maybe, I'm not holding my breath, but we'll see.

Third, hockey rules. I can not get enough hockey this year. I actually don't mind Saturday nights at home with no plans. Hockey Night In Canada on the NHL Network. Plus it doesn't hurt that the Bruins are kicking ass.

Last, I am feeling the music jones. I'm listening to it again all night instead of watching TV. I am thirsty for new, good tunes again. That being said, I'm finding myself being slightly bothered. Here's why.

How long have we all been hearing about the "new" Guns N Roses album? Years and years. It's been delayed, moved back, stalled over and over again. But I heard Chinese Democracy on Octane on XM. I found my ears perking up. So I downloaded it. It's pretty good. I can't believe it. I wanted to hate it, I really did. I wanted to hate it even more than I wanted to hate Lil Wayne's Tha Carter, but fuck if don't have both CDs now.

So now I'm off to listen to them and start adding stars in iTunes.

6 days

Still no electricity. I do have heat but not hot water.

I hate winter. It's official. Especially after I got 4 inches of snow. On top of the ice.

Last night a power crew was working on the line outside of my house. They fixed the nursing home across the street, then left with me still in the dark.

Homicidal fury is close...very close.

On the flip side, my buddy Ed here at work took a photo that was featured on the Weather Channel web site. Check it out:

Weather.com featured photo

What I'm dealing with

So I have an inch of ice, no power and no heat. I've been crashing at my dad's but I can't do this forever.

In the meantime, my main goal is to stay warm, stay fed and try and make the best of it. Especially since they are estimating that it'll be another 7-10 days before everyone's power is restored.

Putting your best foot forward

Ok now I'm not a big ball buster about spelling and grammar most times. I'll figure you out. However if you are in a customer contact position for one of the biggest computer companies on the planet, you should do better than this on something that will be sent to every customer that sends you email.

"Thank you for contacting Dell, I am currently away from my desk in training and will be till Wednesday12/11. If you need assistance on an issue we have been working on an issue please email Levi_Aspeytia@Dell.com directly oe I will respond as soon as I can. If you need immediate assistance please contact Gold Technical Support at 1-866-876-3355, we also offer support via chat with Gold Chat at www.support.dell.com/gold

Thank you for choosing Dell, and have a great day!"

Umm...what? Who wants to count the grammatical errors?

Enough, just enough

I've had it.

No, really I'm done.

My middle daughter has been...difficult this past year to say the least. She's just not wanting anything to do with me and my family. I did nothing to her. I've said nothing to her to set her off. She's just miserable. Even to the point where she's doing the same to her mother.

That's not even the problem. I can out-stubborn her any day of the week and twice on Sunday. She'll get her just desserts.

What's bugging me is the incessant opining and unsolicited advice I'm getting. All of the "well what are you going to do about it?" and the "you know you have to get this fixed." Do I? Really?

I know it's making me a miserable bastard to some people about it. During this past week I have tweaked out at both my mother and my father about it. Tonight's answers to my father's opinions were "Really? I need to fix it? I'll fix it when you stop acting like I'm some kind of idiot."

The thing is...you can't fix it. You don't have the right answer. You don't know me. You don't know my kid. You don't know anything about our relationship or lack thereof. So please...

Shut the fuck up about it.

PS - as a result of the last few months, I will be greatly curtailing my own tendency to give advice. Mama didn't raise no hypocrite.

Things that are nice to know

Today we had a meeting at work with a TON of people. It was basically to talk about how things are going with the business.

For the last oh, 10 years or so I have found myself working for companies that were perpetually in a state of decline. One place printed checks, the next one was a now defunct computer & electronics retailer and the last one before this was an outsource IT provider that got hammered by the sub-prime lending crisis since they supported a huge investment bank.

So to sit in a meeting and have all the financials in the green, plans for aggressive growth and capital improvements. When I got hired I got exactly what I wanted money-wise without having to fight. We are making tech buys that make my life easier.

But when your boss says in front of 1000 people "In 12 months, we expect to be able to do it cheaper and better than Walmart." I have to wonder if maybe I'm finally in a place where my career will grow.

And when it comes to your career, hope can be a very motivating factor.

What ever happened to having class?

I was reading an article today on the NHL website about Sean Avery, a player for the Dallas Stars. Honestly I wasn't surprised, the guy is a pest and a cheap shot artist so I wasn't surprised. But what he said really got me going.

Avery basically made a joke about an opposing player who was dating his ex-girlfriend, referring to her as "sloppy seconds." He made sure he made the comment during a time when he knew the press would be looking for pre-game commentary.

It was so bad even his own teammates didn't want anything to do with it, well except for the young guys snickering like junior high school boys. The league decided to suspend Avery indefinitely. Probably to keep him from getting his ass kicked by one of the other guys in the game tonight.

I started thinking about it and it occurs to me that there is just no place for having any type of class in society anymore. I flip past any of the pop culture channels like MTV, VH1, E! or any of the others, it's just full of dopey people acting like trash.

Paris Hilton rearranging the letters on a Sonic Drive Thru sign to say "anal sex". Britney Spears...well...being Britney Spears. Turn on the NFL and watch guys pointing and talking smack for making a tackle. Hey dummy, it's your job to make tackles. You don't see me at work jumping up and down, yelling and pointing at a computer because I fixed it do you? Of course not, it's my job and I'm expected to do that. It's not a big deal, if I don't do it I get fired.

I even look at my own daughter who was in the living room with me, sitting with her boyfriend when she looks at him, lifts her leg and farts on him. For crying out loud even my own kid has fallen into it. Nothing like looking over and wondering how much white trash has settled into your own daughter.

Is anything going to change it? I doubt it. I'm sure my grandparents and my own parents have lamented the same things for generation to generation. But man it just seems worse now.