Oh it could be a bad scene

I got some unexpected news tonight. Apparently my friend Mike will be up here over the weekend from DC.

Mike is the life of the party to say the least. I can't think of a time where we've hung out with Mike and stories didn't end up being shared for years afterward.

With that in mind, I will SOOOO be spending the weekend in Massachusetts. Hell if I'm going to miss out.

I tell ya...I get no respect

I swear, days like today I definitely know where Rodney was coming from. It's like there are just some days where you just work and work and work and do your best, but you're just not catching a break.

Today on my way to work, cut off in traffic. Normally I would have blown the horn, maybe muttered a profanity and gave them the finger. However, the person who cut me off is a very high up person at my work. Self control was successfully exercised.

Then as I am moving around a bunch of PCs, I make a little sarcastic joke to someone and she blurts out "Listen asspie...". Ummm...WTF is an asspie? I didn't know whether to be amused or insulted. But then I said "asspie" out loud and it's hilarious. Say it, come on...ASS PIE. Funny isn't it? I chalked that one up as just something funny at my expense a little.

But to finish off my day, I decided to treat myself to a pizza pie. So I go into the pizza shop, place my order and sit down to wait for it. As I sit, I hear a mother say "What? What monster?" I look and a little 3 year old girl points at me and says "Him". I just look at her, look at the mother and said "Well if she saw me at the office today, she might have been right."

I tell ya...I get NO respect.

The playlist

I have been watching almost no TV lately and have been instead consuming large amounts of music.

I have always had a thing for songs done acoustically. With all the overproduced top 40 garbage out there, it's nice to see that some songs can be stripped down and be just as good or better than the originals:

Stone Temple Pilots - Crackerman from MTV Unplugged (this DVD is IMPOSSIBLE to find, if anyone knows where I can get it, please let me know)




Eagles - Desperado from Farewaell 1 Tour DVD




Nirvana - Man Who Sold the World from MTV Unplugged

Age

Most times when I toss something up here that involves my opinion, it's usually something I have already made up my mind on and I put it out there. What kind of self-important ass does that? This one, that's who. ;)

Anyway, I have a topic I am undecided on. Age in relationships. Specifically age gaps in romantic relationships. Most times I find myself on the bottom end because, well honestly I relate better to women that are older than me. Besides, I'm a chubby, bald fuck with grey hairs in my goatee, what young thing is going to be interested in me?

But alas don't I find myself pondering this very question on a random Wednesday night without a clear cut winner in the court of Phil's Opinion. So I will poll the few remaining regular readers of this wretched writing. (like the alliteration?)

Does age matter?

How big of a gap is too big?

Is it different talking older guy/younger girl than it is older girl/younger guy?

This inquiring mind wants to know...

A line

Ever get the feeling like you might have crossed the line? Yeah, I thought so. I think I just did.

Well, nothing to be done now I guess. We'll see if it ends up causing drama or not.

Don't be my Valentine

An outstanding commentary that touches on a lot of things that we don't really think about when we are blowing a ton of money on roses, jewelry and dinners.

Don't be my Valentine

With retailers hurting and the U.S. president trying to encourage Americans to spend money to restore consumer confidence, what I'm about to say may seem like treason. But here goes: Please boycott Valentine's Day and all that is associated with this horrendous "holiday."

For several years I have ripped into Valentine's Day. Not because I'm against love and relationships, but mainly because the holiday is such a farce.

First of all, Valentine's Day is not built around a religious event like Christmas or Easter; nor does it have any special meaning to the nation such as Memorial Day or Veterans Day.

It is nothing more than a commercial holiday created by rabid retailers who needed a major shopping day between Christmas and Easter in order to give people a reason to spend money.

Now folks, I love my wife. She is truly an awesome woman who is smart, talented, fine, and, did I say fine? But do I really need a special day to show my affection for her?

I've long maintained that if I sent my flowers at other times during the year, why do I have to fall victim to peer pressure and send her some roses that have quadrupled in price leading up to February 14?

Why should I be inundated with mailings, e-mails and commercials to show her that I love her by buying jewelry or clothing? If we went shopping in June or September or last month, can I get some kind of waiver or "Get out of Valentine's Day" card?

As for this silly flower thing, it's even got to the point that any flowers can't do. Some years ago I planned on sending a woman some flowers that weren't roses, and the (female) co-workers were aghast. They felt that nothing mattered except roses.

First of all, I didn't have a lot of dough and felt a nice bouquet was sufficient, but they were appalled. So I told them to go to hell and I'll do what I want. I guess for them, the thought really doesn't matter.

Then there are the women on the job who measure the love of their men based on those flowers. You know how some folks are. If there are flowers on the desk of 10 other women, and one woman doesn't have anything, folks get to talking and whispering as if something is wrong in her relationship.

I've learned that even if you get the biggest-ever rose bouquet -- the relationship might be crumbling and you just refuse to admit it.

And Valentine's Day really isn't even a two-way street. Men are utterly irrelevant except to serve as pawns in this commercial game, emptying their wallets in order to satisfy their lovers or those around them. Oh yea, retailers know the con game.

Most of these guys are hapless saps who have ignored their wives or girlfriends all year, so they buy the flowers and candy, and set a reservation at one of the city's most expensive restaurants, all to say, "Honey, I love you."

Ladies, and men, stop it! It's time to say enough is enough with Valentine's Day.

What do I want? How about men and women loving, caring and sharing the other 364 days a year? February 14 isn't the only time to send flowers to your woman (ladies, we wouldn't mind getting a surprise delivery as well!). How about dropping her a flower arrangement on May 14? And on that card you need to write, "Just because..."

Instead of men and women spicing up their sex life on February 14, make the effort to satisfy your mate the rest of the year.

If last Valentine's Day was the last time you took your significant other out to a really nice restaurant, you deserve to be in trouble.

Are you planning to treat your man or woman to a wonderful day at the spa this Saturday? Well, I'm sure he or she would thoroughly enjoy the same in June or July.

It's time that we all take stock of our relationships and learn that we are to be loving and fulfilled 365 days a year, and not reduce our affection to flowers, candy, jewelry, clothes and a meal on one day a year.

The people who plan their lives around Valentine's are like those who spend more time planning their wedding day rather than planning their marriage. The day is nice and wonderful, but what makes it last is what you do on the "non-special" days.

Beer Goggles

I was talking to Pam last night and she was discussing her latest encounter with "beer goggles". I know you all know what beer goggles are.

I had to laugh because as I thought about it, I realized that I don't really get beer goggles. I have drank a lot and flirted while drunk, but to bring it too far, I don't think I ever have.

We've all made some shitty judgments while drinking no doubt. Lord knows I've made my share over time. But going home with someone I wouldn't normally is not one of the ones I've made.

I have seen my friends do it. One buddy of mine chased this girl all around the bar one night and after we left, we found out she went home with him. Then the next morning when he sobered up, he considered running away from his own home. (of course there is a better part of this story that I'm not going to share, just in case he's reading)

In any event, I have learned something about myself. I get Beer Tunnelvision. It's the opposite of Beer Goggles. I am horribly picky when it comes to women and I know it. But if I get to drinking, anyone that was on the borderline or that I wasn't interested in goes from getting the silly joking and flirting to just nothing from me. Or I get mean like I did over New Years.

I sat down and thought about it and honestly, I haven't slept with anyone drunk that I wouldn't have sober. There were maybe some close calls, but I have definitely never woken up and said "whoa, bad move".

So what about it...do you get beer goggles or beer tunnelvision?

My nerd addictions

Ok, so lately I have been far too liberal about indulging my nerd addictions. Most time I try to not get super nerdy, but right now I'm headlong into Nerdville, population ME. So here's what I'm into at the moment:



I know I know, but it's like my internet crack addiction, I can't help it.



This one has all the potential for internet meth addiction as Facebook, but on a slightly smaller scale.



They call it the Crackberry for a reason and man is it ever true. The worst part? I have programs for the previous two things on my list already installed on my Blackberry.


And last but not least, at the end of the month I will be able to plug all three of these things into my new work-toy:

Things I learned

I learned a completely random thing tonight. I thought I should share it with all of you so you don't have to learn the hard way like I did.

If it's 8 degrees outside and you put your beer on a snowbank outside, some of it might freeze. And if you just happen to stick your finger down inside, sometimes you can break up the ice pack so you can drink your nice, icy cold beer. But if you happen to stick your finger into the bottle too far, you might get it stuck and all your dumb poker friends will laugh at you.

If this note can save just one embarrassing finger moment, then it was all worth it.

Can't sleep

So yeah, I'm blogging at 5:20 am. I can't sleep.

First it was the nightmares that woke me up. I dreamed that was I part of the Secret Service trying to protect the president (who was a woman in my dream) and I had to keep pushing back all these guys trying to get too close to her in a meeting. Only to find out someone tricked us all and we end up getting locked in a room and can't get out.

Then I dreamed I was being chased and beat on by a big fat guy. I don't know what that's about but in my dream he was trying to get to a friend of mine and I stepped in and stopped it, kinda. Instead Chubby just started beating on me instead.

Last dream I remember is that I was living in a place like a dorm and a female friend of mine comes in and is offering to try on a new top for me. So of course I want to see it, but as she's stripping her top off, all the guys are at my door, staring in the window trying to get in and I have to stand and hold the door shut. The weird part? All the guys there are guys I haven't seen in 10+ years and none of them were particular friends of mine back then.

So now I'm awake, amped up and with my brain going at 1000 miles an hour trying to figure out some stuff going on here that I need to take care of and quickly. Problem is I just don't know how to do it.

25 Random Things

This is a Facebook thing but not everyone uses Facebook and I am too lazy to come up with anything witty today...

25 facts you really didn't want to know...

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.


1. I hate reality TV. No really, I can't stand it. First of all, whose reality is the Rock of Love Bus, Survivor or Big Brother? Want reality? Film me struggling to pay bills, still being completely clueless when it comes to figuring out women and and trying not to flip out when some girl faceplants my daughter on the soccer field.

2. I do however love a lot of HBO and Showtime's programming. The Wire, Rome, Californication, Band of Brothers, etc. I have them all and I have no problem watching them over and over again.

3. I have no pets. I don't really need any and I think it's unfair to have any because I'm not around enough to really care for them the way I think I should. Maybe someday I will, but with working late, going out with friends at the last minute and stuff it's just best.

4. I can cook. I have two parents who can cook, but they have very plain tastes. When I cook, I want the flavor to give me a good POW in the mouth. Not a BAM like Emeril, but a POW that makes my eyes water a bit.

5. My kids were conceived on accident. Go ahead and make the joke, but I wasn't ready for kids especially so early on. The benefit is that I'll be young when they are grown so that's nice but I missed out on the dumb fun stuff that 21 year olds do.

6. I love traveling. I'll go just about anywhere once. That being said, I have no reason to ever visit Detroit, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Toledo, Houston and Salt Lake City ever again. However, the priority targets include Australia, London, Barcelona and Rome.

7. I never thought it would be possible, but I am 100% addicted to my Blackberry. Got myself MSN, AIM, Gmail and Facebook all installed, plus I can tether it to my laptop for an internet connection. The best part? Work pays for it all.

8. I have been a Red Sox fan since I knew what a baseball was. One of my earliest memories of baseball was watching that ball go through Buckner's legs and the damage was done until 2004. 2007 helped too.

9. I love older women. Younger women just don't work for me. They are nice and young and full of life with perfect little bodies and such, but give me the brains and experience of older women every day of the week and twice on...well twice everyday would be just fine with me.

10. Beer = life. Life = Good. Therefore beer = good. Any questions?

11. I love music. How much? Either iTunes, my iPod or the XM radio is going at any given time. What will I listen to? Anything but country...I hate that shit. However I do think country girls are hot.

12. The preset favorites on my cable box are ESPN, TruTV, Speed, Discovery, History Channel, NHL Network and MLB Network.

13. I have no cartilege on outside of my right knee and very little on the inside. Three surgeries will do that to a guy. I've been told that a knee replacement is in the future, but I'm not buying it.

14. I can type...the proper way. Hands on the home row and all that. I took the class as a way to get an easy business credit in high school. Turns out it has been more useful than algebra, physics or psychology.

15. I miss smoking. I know I'm healthier now. I know that quitting was the right thing to do and all of that. But I miss it a lot sometimes, especially while drinking or being stressed to the max.

16. I also can iron. I iron my clothes for work and I try not to look like a total bum as much as humanly possible. That way no one can accuse me of being any kind of low class schmuck.

17. I'm a computer geek. I've denied it for years, fought it as much as I could. But I figure if I'm going to be good at it, I should make some money off of it. Hence my current career.

18. I voted for George W. Bush in 2000. I'm sorry, I didn't know.

19. When I meet a woman, it's all in the eyes. Nice eyes will keep my attention at all times. Dead drunk, early in the morning, without make up, in sweats and a turtleneck...nice eyes will always remind me of what attracted me to someone.

20. I'm a late to bed/early to rise person. I generally function on 5-6 hours of sleep a day. I love the way sleep makes me feel, but I HATE the time it wastes.

21. I love to hike. I like getting to the top of the mountain and spending as much time looking at the views as it took to climb the mountain. It's about having a goal and reaching it and enjoying the sense of accomplishment.

22. I love snow, but I hate the cold. If it could snow and be 50 degrees outside, I'd never leave this place. But since that's not the place, I'm going to make some relocation plans when Brandon graduates.

23. Will loves Katt Williams, well I think he's funny too, but there is a white boy equivalent. Jim Norton. Funniest comedian out there. But NOT for the faint of heart, be warned before you go to his MySpace page.

24. Sam Adams is my favorite patriot. He's done more for my life than any other patriot.

25. There is a Julia Roberts movie in my DVD rack. It's called Closer. It's nothing like you'd expect. If you love heavy, dramatic dialog, rent this...it's intense and it includes Jude Law, Clive Owen and Natalie Portman.