Ok, so I am having a major dilemma in life. I'm hanging on by a thread dear readers, I truly am. It could snap at any time and I'm trying to prevent it. Here's why.
My oldest daughter was here last night and asked me to have a look at the anti virus program on her computer. Sure enough it needed many updates downloaded and installed. She went into her room to watch TV and talk on the phone while I fixed the computer.
Being the father that I am, I take the opportunity to make sure there's nothing on my darling daughter's computer that there shouldn't be. The internet history was ok, but then I rummaged through the My Pictures folder. Bad move.
I could handle the pictures I found of her in her bathing suit. Anyone at the beach can see that. What I wasn't prepared for were pictures of her making out with two of her girlfriends. Not like silly little pecks being funny. I mean full on, hands in hair make outs.
I managed to keep from freaking out about it last night and embarrassing her in front of her best friend who was here and now she's in Florida with my mom. But it's really eating me up inside.
Obviously I don't condone her taking pictures of herself doing stuff like that. Honestly I don't even really care that much that she kissed her friends, if that's all it was. But WHY THE PICTURES? Nothing good is ever going to come from taking pictures of that.
I'm torn between freaking out about it (which I really want to do) and treading lightly. Right now, her mother is being a cunt to her. Yes, I said it. C U N T to my baby. She put her out of the house and it looks like she'll likely be living with me. She's feeling short on allies so I don't want to totally isolate her.
On the flip side, there's no way I can possibly condone the behavior. Want to smooch your friends? Fine, whatever. But don't be making a permanent record of it for someone to hack and post on the Internerd. That shit will pop up at the worst possible time in her life, I guarantee it.
So weigh in if you are one of my 5 remaining readers. Freak out or breathe out....slowly?
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
To freak or not to freak
Posted by Unknown at 10:47 PM
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8 Comments:
i say breathe slowly. freaking out only alienates. mentioning that taking pics of things like that might be in order at some point, but not while there is so much going on.
at least thats my two cents.
either way, *huge hugs* i know its not easy stuff, bro.
Yes, breathe slowly. Teenage girls do experiment and do some weird things... When things settle down a bit, I would casually mention the pictures and what you said, that "nothing good..." Good luck Phil!
I think so long as you stress it's the picture taking (and not the behavior) that has you worried your daughter will understand your concern. As a teen it often hard to see into the future and as a dad you are right to look out for her :)
I think it's a Miley Cyrus copycat type of thing.
That fleeting 15 minutes of fame type of deal.
However, you are exactly correct. Nothing ever good will come from the photos.
To hell with it all, breathe fast and get that over with before you talk to her about it. You do have to talk to her about it though - that's the part you'll have to be doing the deep breathing exercises for.
She's going to probably get pissy with you for "snooping" through her comp. Stick to your guns on it! I truly believe parents have every right to do so. Hell, I occasionally peruse my kids' text messages and such just to know who they are keeping in touch with.
The smoocherooni part is no big deal. Hell yeah, kids experiment and such. I'd wonder why she felt the need to take the pics though - as in who she was showing them too. Like you said, they could come back to bite her in the butt someday.
Frankly, I want to kick Candi's patootie! She's such a tool!
Good luck with all this. We'll catch up somewhere and talk more about it soon!
*hug*
It's definitely a big risk that she'll be pissed and think you're being paranoid.. but you *have* to say something. You at least have to put the idea in her head in case she isn't thinking properly herself. She may not want to obey you, but you at least have to make her more aware. I totally agree with going through your kids' stuff, but I wouldn't have when I was a kid, so she'll most likely be upset about it and I get why. But if she grows up to be as level-headed as you, she will understand one day.
I guess your biggest issue is that she might not have so willingly handed over her computer if she thought for a second that you would have been using that as an opportunity to check up on her. I dunno how often you do this, so it either should be something she's used to, or it'll be something she's shocked by. I think if you're going to be rooting through your kids' stuff, you have to at least be telling them before you do it. If you apologize for anything, it might just be that you didn't warn her. I could be wrong, but I feel like if I were your kid, I might not have even done that stuff (or at least I wouldn't have kept the pics) if I thought that you might see them on my computer one day. But again, I don't know if this is something she should be used to by now. I get the feeling it's not. Let us know how it goes..
So I'm kind of late to this but I say breathe slowly...
<3
hugs
Breathe slowly and tell her to store her private photos someplace more private than the easily accessible and findable My Pictures. ;)
No, but seriously, if she really is getting gunned at from all directions, it's important that you are supportive of her, calm, and understanding.
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