So sometimes I have to admit, I drink too much. When I do, I am known to say somethings that I really shouldn't say. But sometimes it's pretty funny, especially when I go back and look at it.
Tonight I figure I'll share a few prime examples.
Phil: Mike, why are you ignoring the hot girl and getting all close and cuddly with the ugly girl?
Mike: The ugly girl is my sister (oops, I didn't know that)
Girl in bed: (grumbles about something I can't remember really)
Phil: You know, you complain an awful lot for someone who just got off in less than 60 seconds
Girl at party: Oh my god. Jess just called me a slut!
Phil: well...are you?
Girl: am I what?
Phil: A slut.
Girl: Excuse me???????
Phil: I'm not judging you. If you're a slut, you should be proud and just admit it. Be glad men find you attractive.
Girl: (stunned silence)
Phil: It's only blind dumb luck you're still married (that one cost me a friendship for a very long period of time)
Phil: You know it helps when you're the boss to be smarter than the people working under you. (then I turned around and saw the boss' friend standing behind me)
A friend's wife: Phil, hang up the phone, you can't call C at 2:30 in the morning!!!
Phil: (in a very drunken slur) Sure I can. It's ok because she has HIV so it's ok.
Those are a few I can think of right now. If I come up with more...nice...memories I'll be sure to share.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
My mouth gets out of control sometimes
Posted by Unknown at 10:55 PM
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3 Comments:
LOL My favorite was the girl in bed one!
I like the HIV one because it doesn't even make sense.
I have a buddy that says the most messed up things when he's drunk. Once we were out at some conference and he was all liquored up and he was talking to thins black chick with a cowboy hat on and he told her, "You're the black John Wayne, the king of the night time world." Yes. We almost cried.
Another time he told this waitress, "I can tell by your lips that you love to ski." I always sit and watch him when we're out, just waiting for that kind of thing.
Deb - I couldn't imagine what she had to be complaining about!
Steve - that is hilarious. I'm still laughing at the "king of the night time world one"...that's just hysterical.
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