Get a clue

This is a two part "get a clue". It sounds kind of negative, but I figure if I can pick on myself, maybe I won't sound like such a grouchy bastard when I tell the story.

I learned a lesson yesterday. I am incapable of reading a calendar. I know, crazy as it seems. I can fix a Windows registry problem, set up a server infrastructure but fuck if I can't read a simple calendar.

I told people that Brittany had a huge, county-wide chorus show next weekend. Invitations were made. Plans for yesterday were made with Brianna. Plans that were three counties away. Well...

...the concert was yesterday.

Oops. So I scramble all around, put 150 miles on the car but all in all, I manage to put it together. I get from point A to point B with reckless abandon but I get it done. So after the concert, I take the kids for Chinese buffet. Brianna wouldn't touch Brittany's hands because Britt had work at the nursing home that morning and she "touched old people". Brittany points to this old guy at the next table and says "See that guy? I'll be wiping his butt soon, you'll see." At that point, I just about fell out of my chair laughing.

Then on the flip side is the Get a Clue for someone else. I was talking to this girl on the phone. She has made her crush more than obvious and I was trying to be nice and just dance around it. She starts saying how she knows she's hot and I'm lucky that she's crushing on me. Of course nothing turns me off faster. So I'm trying to be polite and all and she says "Come on, you know you want me...just admit it." I said "No, I really don't." She says "Don't lie, you know you do. It's ok, a lot of guys do but you're lucky because I'm picking you." I said "You know how you can tell I'm not into you?" She says "How?"

(click...dial tone for her)

I don't lie, I don't play games. When I want you, you'll know because I'll say so.