26 random questions

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
--it's not even a moment's hesitation...the ex. She'd be gone and I've have my kids. It's like two treats in one.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
--Miley Cyrus. I hate that fucking Hannah Montana and her gay rhyming name.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
--Ummm, George Bush I guess. He's such a dope.

4. What is your favorite cheese?
--Mozzarella. Whether it's on pizza, in sticks or in tomato and mozzarella salad...delish.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
--the Smokehouse Panini at Panera. Chicken, bacon cheese and some kinda sauce toasted. Awesomeness

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?
--Scarlett Johansson. Can I take a few pictures for the ol' scrapbook too??

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
--Alicia Keyes. Hot, sensual and she could sing a capella to me afterwords.

8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Wow, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
--I'm going to pocket it and save it for number 9

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
--Sydney Australia. Then I'm spending my $100 to find a way to get around while I'mthere.

10. An angel appears out of heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the beverage of your choice. It is?
--Sam Adams Light. I was going to say regular Sam Adams, but with the light I won't get fat as quick.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anywhere in the PAST. Where do you go?
--March 24, 1993. I keep driving home instead of stopping at someone's house.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
--No lying to me. First offense will get you voted off the island.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called?
--It's called "Shut Up Hollywood Mouthpiece". Every week, a different overly opinionated Hollywood Douchebag (think Tom Selleck, Susan Sarandon, Ellen Degeneres) gets put on stage, bound and gagged and the audience comes up on stage with a roll of quarters in a tube sock and gets to take three swings each at the victim. Special episodes include Britney Spears locked in a small glass room with nothing but Marlboros and Jack Daniels or Lindsay Lohan having to fuck an actually attractive woman on stage.

15. What is your favorite curse word?
--come on...it has to be fuck.

16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, what do you do?
--start pulling on the bandages and hope.

17. Your house is on fire! What do you do ?
--grab the portable hard drive, a pair of pants and out the door

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that hour?
--spend every single minute with my kids.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What super-power is it?
--Flight, no doubt. No more pesky TSA checkpoints.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
--One night when I finally closed the deal with the girl I had wanted for sooooooo long.

21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
--getting cheated on

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check this out… you can move to anywhere else in the world. Where do you go?
--Barcelona. Beautiful city, on the water and close to other cool shit in Europe.

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age, if you were banned from every bar in the world except one, which one would it be?
--Jake Ivory's in Boston. I love the dueling pianos upstairs and there's a regualar club downstairs.

24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question... If you did, then we’ll just expound on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to fly! Whose house are you going to fly to first?
--Scarlett Johansson's house, duh.

25. The constant absorption of magical moon beams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
--Lou Gehrig. Even though he was a Yankee, he did it with class.

26. You can bring back one person who's dead…who would you bring back?
--my grandfather. He had patience and love that sadly I will never be able to match.