Too Bad Oprah

This is Oprah Winfrey. Oprah is gearing up for a very tough year. See she may be worth $2 billion dollars. She may have a long running TV show, a magazine, a book club, a charity to feel good about. But it's going to be a tough year for her. Why?

Because she's fat.

I guess when you're a multi-billionaire your view on life is a bit skewed perhaps. I mean 2009 is going to be a really rough year for a lot of people. I know I have my own concerns and I think I'm in pretty good shape.

Most people I know are worried about keeping their jobs, maybe finding a way to make their mortgage payments, how they can afford college for their kids. I have friends with their own businesses that are quietly concerned. I'm concerned that this is the year that Jamie's girl finally losses her mind completely and stabs him in the ear with an ice pick.

But Oprah's dreading the great fat battle of 2009. Never mind the mortgage crisis, the skyrocketing unemployment numbers, the plummeting stock market, the two wars we are stuck in, global warming and the new historic presidency.

Her issue is being chubby.

It's not like she has a whole lot of excuses. She can afford the gym. She can afford a personal trainer. She can afford a full time chef to cook good, healthy food for her. Which I think bothers me more. If you're broke and stuck eating the 80% lean hamburger, Ramen noodles and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, then it's hard to have the best diet ever. But when you can blow a couple hundred thousand on a dress, you can afford to have your chef find something tasty that won't make your heart explode like a burrito in the microwave.

Ok, I think I'm done for now. Sadly this isn't even the thing that made me most irritated today but I swore to myself that I wouldn't blog about work anymore so you'll have to get that story one on one.